The Cure

nothing to do with the cure, but I will have to listen to some to make me calm.............

JUST back from a sporting jaunt with 2 of my 4 kids. and FUK FUK FUK, I hate small men(as in small worlded men) and I hate how we can fukn escape one coarch in particular who dislikes my son for WHATE#VER reason and fukn undermines his attempts to reach his goal of being selected for a higher rep team.



FFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKk


im not saying my son is a super star, but he played quite well, and unfortunately he is a very anxiety ridden child and no matter how hard i try (NEVER ENOUGH) i cannot shift the notion from his brain that not being seloected does not in fact translate into you're a failure.

he acts, he never gets the role, he has multiple callbacks, nothn apart from one add. So everything I give him to start to enhance his elf esteem and good feelings fukn backfires.................. and ends up reinforcing his depressive tendancies..........


aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh


i get it too, because I was never the best at anything, ever, just a fukn all rounder, good at lots, excellent at none, and i still feel that rejection. i tell him and model everything he needs, but its NOT FUKN WORKN.................



aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh


thanks for the purge..... after the support you guys gave me about my dearest little KitKat, and me crying shamelessly about her passing, i hope you will tolerate this rant too....

Wow how did I miss this thread!

So sorry, my son was in baseball and the coach was a total prick. He freaking scared the kids and made them so nervous when they were playing to win the top spot in their division! Of course they lost and he freaked out! Not fun at all for them! I so wanted to tell him to blow it out his azz!!!
We didn't play winterball and I am so happy! Now, they are playing just for fun and they are loving it again! They will join a team in Jan. The coaches need to teach them to play and enjoy the game...not play in fear!!

Sorry to hear about your son!! Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job!! Hopefully you can get away from that azzh__ coach!! It can be so competitive and abusive!! Good luck and I hope you feel better soon! Get the coach's picture and put it at the bottom of your toilet!!

thanks

i spat on my screen with laughter at the toilet remark...............so fukn true............

yes yes yes to all the same things your son felt, and even worse, this guy is in with the selectors.............'

I wish we could go back to being fun,, but he has his goals and seriously they are not THAT unrealistic...... we cant escape him!!! its like a nightmare that is on a loop.........

:i dont want another go around, I want this to be the end, I WANT THIS to be the end"

heheheheheh

Re: nothing to do with the cure, but I will have to listen to some to make me calm.............

roberts_hairspray wrote:
JUST back from a sporting jaunt with 2 of my 4 kids. and FUK FUK FUK, I hate small men(as in small worlded men) and I hate how we can fukn escape one coarch in particular who dislikes my son for WHATE#VER reason and fukn undermines his attempts to reach his goal of being selected for a higher rep team.



FFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKk


im not saying my son is a super star, but he played quite well, and unfortunately he is a very anxiety ridden child and no matter how hard i try (NEVER ENOUGH) i cannot shift the notion from his brain that not being seloected does not in fact translate into you're a failure.

he acts, he never gets the role, he has multiple callbacks, nothn apart from one add. So everything I give him to start to enhance his elf esteem and good feelings fukn backfires.................. and ends up reinforcing his depressive tendancies..........


aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh


i get it too, because I was never the best at anything, ever, just a fukn all rounder, good at lots, excellent at none, and i still feel that rejection. i tell him and model everything he needs, but its NOT FUKN WORKN.................



aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh


thanks for the purge..... after the support you guys gave me about my dearest little KitKat, and me crying shamelessly about her passing, i hope you will tolerate this rant too....

hey leah

non competative is great, but its his goal, not mine, and Ive told him that. I even threaten, if you are not having any fun, or getting anything good from it at all anymore, then im not taking you......... he does love it. he cant get enough. My sister is a tennis coach, and his father used to be golf pro, i guess its in his genes.
i secretly used to want and crave that acknowledgement, b ut I never got it and stil have shit self esteem. He had anxiety disorder, everyday is a struggle at times.......

and dont even start me on the FUKN HIGH SCHOOL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>........

its very hard, and i want to "fix" it but I cant........ i tell him im proud of him all the time, cos i cant remember hearing that as a child......................... i think thats important, and we spend HOURS debreifing, sometimesa hours daily.

it was a heartbreaking weekend.............

Perhaps see if there are other teams in the area

At least where I live, a kid can join either the school team or an independent community-run team or perhaps the YMCA or similar organization.

Even in the school teams there are usually 3 levels so that everyone can have fun if they really want to play.

I remember the boys from our neighborhood while my son was growing up. Not all of them were jocks and on the team (much to my surprise, my son WAS one of the jocks). The ones who didn't make it developed other talents - like acting or discjockying and I see that they are often as successful or more successful in life as their more athletic peers. The key is to do something you love. That is the greatest recipe for success.

There are teams out there that are more oriented to "having fun" than having to be #1. Try to find one of these for your son if he really wants to play.

yep, I know

i guess the point of it is that its his goal, and im happy to help him achieve that (within reason) by driving him to most things, but Im not prepared to drag the whole family around for his dream, at their expense, and I want him to have a broarder life (which he does) rather than just his sport.

If I let him live, breathe and eat only hockey, he may be that weeny bit better........, he needs to work harder to get better and MAKE them notice him and then I will have immense pleasure in getting in that guys face.............

I just dont like it that grown adults have agendas that mess with kids like that.......

and for what???

I think he plays at a high level, would be happy if he just stayed as is, but he wantsd it.............., hes coping ok now, juast got news he came equal first in english for the year, out of the whole year 7 grade!!!

ha!! this is from a kids that cant fukn spell beautiful........................ LMFAO!!!

That's sad

roberts_hairspray wrote:
i guess the point of it is that its his goal, and im happy to help him achieve that (within reason) by driving him to most things, but Im not prepared to drag the whole family around for his dream, at their expense, and I want him to have a broarder life (which he does) rather than just his sport.

If I let him live, breathe and eat only hockey, he may be that weeny bit better........, he needs to work harder to get better and MAKE them notice him and then I will have immense pleasure in getting in that guys face.............

I just dont like it that grown adults have agendas that mess with kids like that.......

and for what???

I think he plays at a high level, would be happy if he just stayed as is, but he wantsd it.............., hes coping ok now, juast got news he came equal first in english for the year, out of the whole year 7 grade!!!

ha!! this is from a kids that cant fukn spell beautiful........................ LMFAO!!!

Re: That's sad

CureCatLady wrote:

roberts_hairspray wrote:
i guess the point of it is that its his goal, and im happy to help him achieve that (within reason) by driving him to most things, but Im not prepared to drag the whole family around for his dream, at their expense, and I want him to have a broarder life (which he does) rather than just his sport.

If I let him live, breathe and eat only hockey, he may be that weeny bit better........, he needs to work harder to get better and MAKE them notice him and then I will have immense pleasure in getting in that guys face.............

I just dont like it that grown adults have agendas that mess with kids like that.......

and for what???

I think he plays at a high level, would be happy if he just stayed as is, but he wantsd it.............., hes coping ok now, juast got news he came equal first in english for the year, out of the whole year 7 grade!!!

ha!! this is from a kids that cant fukn spell beautiful........................ LMFAO!!!

Too bad the coach has to ruin it for him. :( Like I said, maybe there are other teams out there that he can play and have a coach who encourages him in his love for hockey. If he lives and breathes the sport, there is no doubt in my mind that he is good. Bottom line - find another team/coach.

My own son, now an adult, has lived and breathed team sports ever since he was a toddler. He's seeing the payoff now as he actually has much recognition and is making a living off of it. Believe me, your son will thank you for making it all possible for him, if this is the love of his life.

I know here there are many ice rinks that have their own teams apart from school teams. Perhaps there is something similar where you live and your son can find a good coach/team fit? A good coach can be invaluable to a kid's future.

btw...congratulations on him being first in English. I don't doubt that eventually he'll get the right recognition he deserves in sport as well.

Re: hey leah

roberts_hairspray wrote:
non competative is great, but its his goal, not mine, and Ive told him that. I even threaten, if you are not having any fun, or getting anything good from it at all anymore, then im not taking you......... he does love it. he cant get enough. My sister is a tennis coach, and his father used to be golf pro, i guess its in his genes.
i secretly used to want and crave that acknowledgement, b ut I never got it and stil have shit self esteem. He had anxiety disorder, everyday is a struggle at times.......

and dont even start me on the FUKN HIGH SCHOOL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>........

its very hard, and i want to "fix" it but I cant........ i tell him im proud of him all the time, cos i cant remember hearing that as a child......................... i think thats important, and we spend HOURS debreifing, sometimesa hours daily.

it was a heartbreaking weekend.............

i know how you feel

we all want the best for our children,and when they are hurt we are hurting too.

Re: hey leah

roberts_hairspray wrote:
non competative is great, but its his goal, not mine, and Ive told him that. I even threaten, if you are not having any fun, or getting anything good from it at all anymore, then im not taking you......... he does love it. he cant get enough. My sister is a tennis coach, and his father used to be golf pro, i guess its in his genes.
i secretly used to want and crave that acknowledgement, b ut I never got it and stil have shit self esteem. He had anxiety disorder, everyday is a struggle at times.......

and dont even start me on the FUKN HIGH SCHOOL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>........

its very hard, and i want to "fix" it but I cant........ i tell him im proud of him all the time, cos i cant remember hearing that as a child......................... i think thats important, and we spend HOURS debreifing, sometimesa hours daily.

it was a heartbreaking weekend.............

Thanks Nicole

T's father was a golf pro............ now in a different sporting industry.............

My sister is a tennis coach

MY dad used to play rep everything...........

I dont have the drive of my son, b ut I know how he feels....... I think when he grows a bit it will help, he's still yet to have his growth spurt..........

very hard - this mother thing at times...........

Re: Thanks Nicole

roberts_hairspray wrote:
T's father was a golf pro............ now in a different sporting industry.............

My sister is a tennis coach

MY dad used to play rep everything...........

I dont have the drive of my son, b ut I know how he feels....... I think when he grows a bit it will help, he's still yet to have his growth spurt..........

very hard - this mother thing at times...........