The Cure

TallisAalryn

TallisAalryn
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Website:http://alice.wikia.com/wiki/Cheshire_Cat
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Member Since:7/4/2011
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Begin Trans 101 rant

Begin Trans 101 rant

when I first came out as being trans...I had envisioned quiet teas with each of my friends and colleagues...I moved through this catalogue gracefully. My friends simply understood... Thing is coming out over and over again is painful over and over again...Every time It comes up it is rather the equivalent of standing in a crowd naked whilst tools of doom and mass destruction are leveled at my head proving/explaining convincing that I do indeed exist..as a solid and individuated being. this repeated process reminds me that I can not simply exist within the comfort zone of my self actualization... but must explain/prove/ my exact physiological being in regards to my self concept and identity. ..tying everything just mentioned in a philosophical bow that is both attractive and easy to swallow. SO from now on I'm going to wear a gender T, carry brochures and keep an auditorium booked so I can trans 101 a few hundred at a time... end Trans 101 rant. Educational oppurtunity in 321 Trans Etiquette http://tranifesto.com/transgender-faqs-and-info/trans-etiquette-for-non-trans-people/ 10 Things NOT to say to trans folk http://tranifesto.com/transgender-faqs-and-info/trans-etiquette-for-non-trans-people/

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not so clever by half is the Rory centurion

not so clever by half is the Rory centurion

Alarm is going off beside my ear...but here too tucked in by an ear and a wing is Brie...sleeping as if the world never spun off it's axis atall. I think she might stay...the Inguinal orchidectomy now being an option...call me a guarded/ing optimist...not clever enough by half to get out of my own way... Damocles sword accessorized by feathers & dipped in hope...has become a constant companion...the shadow keeps my head warm. I held my breath...I didn't write...didn't read... was afraid I send this little planet of mine into fits should I move too quickly. Every ounce of energy went into survival...an attempt at normalcy...I stuck... and then a few days ago we were watching the Doctor season finale(ish)...The ep. with the Pandorica containing the sleeping once future and present Amy, who once again dreaming waits for the Doctors return. The Dr. expects that Rory (her knight in leather amore') will travel by way of Tardis to wake the sleeping beauty in another time... instead... Her Paramour, Rory gaurds the Pandorica while the Time Lord travels into the future present...2,000 years ahead of Rory and my...in fact...Rory endlessly/sleeplessly guards Ms. Amy for all of those 2,000 years...Pulling her to safety during the blitz. so there we are in bed, laptop all shiny and popcorn between naked thighs laughing...crying...enjoying the show...When during intermission...Brie pauses the Doc. looks at me and says..."your love is pure like that...y'd have waited the 2,000 years...thank you" followed by a bus and more popcorn. I am both complimented and terrified by this responsibility/expectation/hope/love/guilt/shame/passion. I believe this is what Mircea Eliade meant when he talked about mysterium tremendium... I am in human scale an undiluted & free of Disintegration 1/16mm of what I ought to be. Here's what's happened so far. Managed to get the endo & HRT lined up with a GP willing to work with transgender folks. Found a Urologist in the Bangor area to preform the sugery...and a P.H.D. to assure all three that Brie is not...erumph...off her nut. The work I am doing...in the trans community...to get health care for transfolk in an area where docs feel free to say "we don't deal with that sort of THING here" is "trailblazing", this also complimentary...but ye gods and monsters I says piss off...I'd prefer to travel the trail better defined by others in a first class compartment. I can't do this because nonesuch healthcare doesn't EXIST in Bangor Maine. I travel because it's necessary... Because a 31% successful suicide rate is well and away larger than it ought to be even in very bad made for TV dramatic movies. I am tired of burying friends and lovers and family. It is not brave you see, but desperation that moves me along... Mostly I feel skinless and vulnerable... I don't feel up to the task... all of this bullshit hero quest suffer for others is way too well entrenched in a Judeo-Christian ethic that nauseates me. So Me and Damocles will be hanging out for awhile... On this and only this do I wholeheartedly agree..Rory IS a terrible name for a centurion.

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off we go..a merrily through the woods

to the hospital and back...or over the river and through the woods. Most of my agitating is on hiatus for the moment. I'm just trying to get through the last of the semester well...but this semester has had it's druthers tossed about in laundry rooms...emergency rooms...and presentation experiences. My partner has attempted suicide many times over the past months. The last time the police found her gone quite blue with her belt around her neck. They were able to bring her back...But I cannot say with any certainty that she truly wants to be back...she's growing thinner than a shadow by the moment...I promised to hold her hand along the way...this way...that way till the end of this time...and I am...but , oh it is exquisitely painful. I have been amazed at just how easily a person can disappear...again...again...again...my thoughts stumble over one another in a gruesome bit of leapfroggery... and that blue blue skin spilt milk on some distant grassy knoll...so i hold on to her hand...and know I can not think of the right words...nor can I ask her to stay

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An appreciation of lovers who love to read...

An appreciation of lovers who love to read...

love is second hand, well worn...passion...ready to ignite in an instant with only a well written phrase to light the way. http://nonamerah.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/869/

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Cheshire grin indeed

Cheshire grin indeed

So there he is in almost all his glory! The tat gets finished this Sunday. I can hardly wait. Here's an idiot funny for you and me and Cletis too... New tat itching like crazy in class...can't scratch...smacking makes my eyes roll up into my head...zombies noises...truly it feels...quite close to orgasmic...My dog leg is on...and I'm smacking up a storm... so...my classmate/cohort...asks, " what are you doing" (I suppose it looked like I was self injuring or having fits) not thinking I say I'm smacking my kitty...the itch is insane... He say's, "they've penicillin for that sort of thing"...and for the rest of the day... walks about telling folks I like to hit my kitty...and he'd like to hit it too! ah the joys of grad school...and how easily we're amused during exam week! By Tuesday I'll be abusing my kitty again...lol

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I'm in the process of moving over to Diaspora

I'm in the process of moving over to Diaspora

For my new social network. Facebook...lets just say I get tired of having to outsmart the privacy changes. It's taking awhile to get the Alpha up...but looks like it's quickening. It's an odd name for a social network...and odder for my jewish self to have it on the lips from wiki: The Jewish diaspora (or simply the Diaspora) is the English term used to describe the Galut ???? (Yiddish: 'Golus'), or 'exile', of the Jews from the region of the Kingdom of Judah and Roman Iudaea and later emigration from wider Eretz Israel. The modern Hebrew term of Tefutzot ??????, "scattered", was introduced in the 1930s by the German-American Zionist academic Simon Rawidowicz,[1] who to some degree argued for the acceptance of the Jewish presence outside of the Land of Israel as a modern reality and an inevitability. So are they gathering the scattered or scattering the gathered? https://joindiaspora.com/

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My hungry ghost

is satisfied...happiness I am

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OCCUPATION WALLSTREET ...a quiet revolution is happening in the states NEWS BLACK OUTS!

OCCUPATION WALLSTREET ...a quiet revolution is happening in the states NEWS BLACK OUTS!

This is real and radical change. Many more cities have joined in! Let's shake things up! If you can...Get Thee to Liberty Park! If you can't get thee there...send a donation... Mail The UPS Store Re: Occupy Wall Street 118A Fulton St. #205 New York, NY 10038 Money orders only please, cannot cash checks yet. Non-perishable goods only. We can accept packages of any size. We're currently low on food. Kevin Gosztola, FDL Direct Action to Happen Now In a private park known as Zuccotti Park, hundreds of protesters have been holding an occupation called Occupy Wall Street to call attention to corporate influence on US politics. The action began on September 17. Protesters were not allowed to go into the area on Wall Street they had planned to occupy because the NYPD put up blockades early in the morning. This did not deter the occupation. Protesters managed to earn permission to occupy Zuccotti Park and sleep in it. They have now slept in the park for two (twelve nights now) nights in a row. And, the area has been dubbed Liberty Plaza. Additionally. protesters managed to convince people from all over the world to support the continuation of the occupation and donate pizza. Noam Chomsky Announces Solidarity With #occupywallstreet Posted Sept. 26, 2011, 6:57 p.m. EST by OccupyWallSt Anyone with eyes open knows that the gangsterism of Wall Street -- financial institutions generally -- has caused severe damage to the people of the United States (and the world). And should also know that it has been doing so increasingly for over 30 years, as their power in the economy has radically increased, and with it their political power. That has set in motion a vicious cycle that has concentrated immense wealth, and with it political power, in a tiny sector of the population, a fraction of 1%, while the rest increasingly become what is sometimes called "a precariat" -- seeking to survive in a precarious existence. They also carry out these ugly activities with almost complete impunity -- not only too big to fail, but also "too big to jail." The courageous and honorable protests underway in Wall Street should serve to bring this calamity to public attention, and to lead to dedicated efforts to overcome it and set the society on a more healthy course. Noam Chomsky http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMijTX60r5w&feature=youtu.be

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imagine my surprise

imagine my surprise

when I found that posting blog here tied me into all and more of the worst music fan pages on the net. whatever it twas happened made it look as if I were posting on say The Jonas Brothers pages...a Jonas fan! *shivers whilst teeth chatter in mad crescendo* I'm still twitching. I've been up for 23 hrs in a row...(never straight) know that sputtery bright growl the candle burned at both ends gives off before it goes out...that's me the big bang...past the philosophical like and into the ridiculous / veeer slightly to the left & on till morning. just one more exam...just one more...exam...

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The Ten O'Clock Scholar

The Ten O'Clock Scholar

A diller, a dollar, a ten o'clock scholar! What makes you come so soon? You used to come at ten o'clock, But now you come at noon. Hurricane not so much here. power flux'd a bit. Off for my emergency book loan. Because I'm a "new" student they withhold financing till September @ some point...no-one knows what point...The mercurial and somehow still fastidious piety of the bursars tight lipped pout would be the reason I come at noon...how frustrating! whic

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