I'm still visiting my the kids in Texas at the moment. It's 6:30am here, and I got up to get a drink of water. Which woke up the dogs (two long-hair miniature female dachshunds 1 year and the other 4-1/2 months). I let my incessantly barking grand-doggers out to do their business, and since my computer is set up right by the door and the computer was on sleep, I made the time to read THE LOVECATS.
First of all, I adore the idea that someone your age loves to write. Secondly, THE LOVECATS did hold interest right through to the end. It needs a few more edits to tighten some places and expand others. It's difficult to read on a forum since the format styles of your manuscript get lost in the little windows. Even so, all in all, it is a nice short story.
The only think that I would like to point out is that for me, I have a difficult time readying Fan Fiction. Way back when, I came across a VERY NASTY (make that VERY FILTHY) Fan Fic porn story unfortunately staring the members of The Cure. I was nauseated by the end of the first paragrah and swore off never to read crap so dispicatable as that again. So it was difficult for me to start reading a story that had The Cure members in it as characters. But since you are young and seem like a very nice girl, I took a chance. I wasn't disappointed in that respect. So thank you off the top for not turning The Cure members into fictionalized degenerates. I, for one, do appreciate that :-)
I do notice that with some writers with an obvious talent in storytelling concentrate much too heavily on writing Fan Fiction. I do realize there is a huge Fan Fiction community with many writers and even more readers. BUT... wouldn't it be to YOUR BEST advantage to ease into a different form of character involvement? In your case it wasn't heavy ended, but the heavy references to The Cure, Cure songs, cure this and cure that can only be followed effectively by a long-time Cure fan.
To limit your audience to Cure fans only is leaving out chunk of the readers on Earth. You can easily rewrite this story without so my Cure references. Or keep it to be your Fan Fac offering and then branch out with other stories to reach a wider audience. You do have a talent, and as you skills develop it would benefit you to have a wider audience.
This story, in itself, is not long enough to publish on Kindle, but collect a significant number of your short stories in the same book, and you have an actual book that could quite possibly be publishable. Especially nowadays. With self-publishing via the Kindle SO easy, you could have a published collection of stories on Kindle...for sale...in hardly any time at all...as it seems quite obviously that you are carving a niche for yourself as a writer. Which is good. Very good indeed :-)
I'll try to find time to read your other story soon. It's been blazing hot down here for the month I've been here it's been to hot to do anything outside until after the sun goes down. But this weekend, for my birthday, we're heading down to the beach in Galveston. When we get back I'll make time to read your other story.
Oh yeah...go listen to my album!